Alternadad

I'm a little wishy-washy on my feelings about Neal Pollack as a father or a rocker, but from reading Alternadad the main feeling I did get was just how amazing Regina is. She seems like the absolute coolest down to earth person ever, and she's a mom. Plus, she wanted to be a mom and she actually had reasonable reasons along with a ticking biological clock. She puts up with a sometimes unruly husband with all the grace of a funky southern protestant while doing her own artwork and raising a kid. From their first date I was totally enthralled by her character and decisions, much more so than Pollack's.

One of the funniest lines in the reading was, "I cooked, walked Hercules, did laundry, and scrubbed toilets. The responsibility was oddly satisfying, like I was proving to myself that I could be a man." From the other readings we've done it seems like the cooking, laundry, cleaning, and dog walking would only solidify his proof of his femininity rather than his manliness. I got this feeling from the first half of this section of the book, that they could share somewhat equally and gender roles hadn't come into play all that much in their relationship. However, as the book went on more and more often the sharing ended up on Regina which Pollack readily admits. But I get a hopeful feeling from this entire situation, especially the chapter where Pollack returns from his rock tour. I feel like he's figuring things out and he has a good sense of how important both Regina and Elijah are and the balance that he needs to make work for them.

Two other sections that struck me were the fact that her birth while they had planned on it being easy was incredibly difficult, and the first three months of infancy were much easier than they had planned. So far the only successful easy birth we've seen was by the one mother who decided from the beginning that she wanted drugs (Melissa in Savage's The Kid). Both Cusk and Regina go into a birth hoping for a natural birth complete with standing in the shower, and both end up in risky operations demanding drugs. The message I take from this right now is plan on taking the drugs but I think that I had that sentiment to begin with. The difference between Cusk and Regina though is the infancy after the birth. Regina feeds the child but her husband is far more present in this narrative than in A Life's Work. Pollack and Regina seem rather shocked at how much TV they can watch and sleep they can get guilt free. But this guilt free is based solely on how successful Regina was in feeding the baby which is exactly the same sentiment that Cusk has just with better luck. Lessons learned are take drugs and get lucky which is exactly what I think Alternadad is all about.