If the tables were turned and Regina was the exceptionally alternative parent, there would be a problem. People wouldn’t pt up with it. Her parenting approach would be scrutinized and criticized. It would be called neglectful and harmful. Although we don’t give Neal Pollack the green card, he is still let off of the hook a lot easier than any mother with his lifestyle. Why is this the case? I feel that because of the parenting stereotype, the way mothers have been perceived in pop culture, the thought of an Alternamom is even worse than an outrageous and dangerous epidemic. I have to admit, I have this bias too. I give Neal the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know why, but its just seems more acceptable for the father to do the things he does. Perhaps this concept of giving more responsibility to the mother is why so many mothers turn into a “bitch.” It is going to take a lot more than this blog post to change years of the general understanding that mothers must give up their wild sides and devote their entire lives to their children, but if we could just wave the magic wand, and shed equality on the mother-father dynamic, what a different world it would be.
However there is something to learn from this Alternadad situation and that is the importance of care. Despite his lifestyle, Neal Pollack loves and cares for his child. I believe that regardless of how wild and crazy a parent might choose to be, if they embrace the importance of care, their child will live a safe life. Since there is no magic wand we can wave, no legislation we can pass, we just have to trust society to make good decisions. And since most of society will continue to make bad decisions, we have to make sure on an individual level we always have our priorities in check.
Monday, November 17, 2008
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