An Attitude Change

As my last blog post for the semester, I have decided to focus on a solution that could help all of the mothers we have read about this semester (and hopefully myself some day should I decide to become a mother). While political and cultural changes need to be made in order to improve motherhood in America all together, I think starting with the self; one’s own attitude is the first step.
Regina Pollack is not much different than most of the mothers we have read about. She has the disease known as mother angst. She constantly feels guilt, stress, failure, fatigue, and regret. Regina’s husband takes note of her unhappiness:
“I may have grown confident in fatherhood, but Regina remained in constant conflict with herself. In my opinion, she denied herself happiness, deliberately maneuvering into the regret and self-pity that can often attach itself to mothers as they grow older” (290).
While I cannot provide the universal answer on how to deal with all the negativity surrounding motherhood, in many cases (including Regina’s) I think a simple attitude change is the best start. Although fatigue cannot be avoided with an infant, the other negative feelings commonly surrounding motherhood would improve with a positive attitude.
In particular, the work/home balance is a major problem mothers face. Regina, like many mothers is conflicted between dedication to her work and the duties and responsibilities of being a mother. As a painter she has a flexible work schedule. However, even with work flexibility, Regina appears depressed over the situation.
“Look at me. I wanted to be a world-famous painter by now. And I’m nowhere”
“I’m never going to get there...”
“I just know that I’m going to have to give it all up” (290).
I’m not saying that balancing work and kids is easy (far from it), however; I think Regina should give herself some credit and make more time for her painting. In her case, she has a husband who seems willing to allow her more time for her work. “I wanted to help her recapture the shared thrill and need for adventure that had characterized our life before we’d had a child. But she wouldn’t meet me at that mental place” (290). Neal seems to allude to the fact that there is a mental problem standing in the way, and while I think Neal is an idiot a lot of the times, I agree with him here. An attitude change will not make all the motherhood issues resolve, but it would help. With a husband who is willing to help out, the mental problem is even easier to solve.
Whether a child is mentally retarded, cries non-stop, or simply likes to stick objects up his nose, I believe mothers are extraordinary women and can handle it with the right attitude. Although a multitude of factors play into motherhood and each mother’s experience, I think attitude is everything. A positive outlook (I know, easier said than done) could significantly impact a mother’s experience.