Cool or not cool?

I still haven't finished Alternadad yet but I'd like bring up a few points that trouble me about the book. I know that Neal Pollack is open-minded about many things and that he would like to be seen as liberal and "cool". In the past we have discussed what we see as "cool" and what Neal Pollack sees as cool are extremely different. As a father, I think he's incredibly cool simply for trying hard to make his son happy. A lot of times though, I feel that Regina gets shafted and stuck with taking care of their son too much. This impression might be created because Neal Pollack doesn't really talk about what he does while Regina's taking care of the child, other than the many concerts that he goes to, or other times, hanging out with other people and drinking beer or getting high. My mother was almost the opposite of Neal when it came to music. Or, I should say, she made me get into music, but in the classical spectrum of the music world. I have played piano since I could remember and eventually took on other instruments as I grew up - ones that I chose for myself. I hated piano lessons at many points of my life, so the one question that came up while reading was, what if Elijah hated hated hated the music his Dad made him listen to? What if his son was not the kind of child that he was so proud of, for being so into his own music? And will his son grow to appreciate or resent his father's musical influence in his early years? I don't think Neal Pollack would be angry because he is always surprisingly adaptable to certain situations, but the story definitely would be completely different and maybe he wouldn't see himself as "cool" anymore.

I read Jill's entry "Alternamom" and found myself completely agreeing with her. My last entry was about how fathers that take on more responsibilities in parenting are in a sense glorified and I definitely think this is related. If Regina were the one going out and partying, I would be completely proud of her for having a life other than her child. At the same time, when I hear about mothers that neglect their children because they like to party too much, a lot of negative opinions form. The lack of maturity, responsibility, and capability to take care of someone else is always associated with women that can't fulfill the mother role. My own mother is the opposite. She thinks she's always been a great mother but even to this day I think that she was always too overbearing and controlling. So when she compares herself to her sister, who was more neglectful and much less controlling and partied a lot while my cousin was growing up, I always thought of her as a "cool" mom and thought that I would have preferred her more. But in the end, it came down to the fact that my aunt wasn't exactly a "good mother", at least in that traditional mother role.

In fact, I'm beginning to think that the traditional father roles are slowly beginning to change whereas the traditional mother roles are still the same. Our expectations of mothers are already subconciously drawn, but for fathers I feel like it's still a little bit fuzzy. In this way, it seems that fathers are expected to have more freedom and not frowned upon for not participating in household activities. But if the roles of fathers are beginning to change, then it may mean that the roles of mothers adjust with these changes too.