Like Jana I find that I constantly question myself when I am reading about these women. I wonder if I will have the same anger as some of these successful, ambitious women. My own mother was a homemaker and it was planned like that, since she was raised to think that women were always the ones to stay at home and do housework while their husbands worked. It is a traditional mindset that held her back from being able to go to college because her own mother didn't encourage it. Education wasn't as important as finding a husband that could provide the financial support, in my Grandmother's eyes. My Grandmother, of course, was that same exact way - she was my grandfather's third wife (he had 3 wives at a time because it was a symbol of how rich he was). Because of the fact that my mom was expected to be the homemaker, she never really had that schism between work and home. Her anger as a mother mostly came from disciplining my sister and I. As the oldest, I have always been the one to fight with my mother.

Still, a lot of anger comes from lack of a healthy communication. Although communication is a common theme in many of our readings, the kind of communication between my mother and I is a bit different. My mother has lived in the US for more than 15 years and she still can't speak English very well. I, on the other hand, speak mandarin and English and understand Taiwanese and Haka fairly well (my mom uses Haka all the time when she wants to talk about me to her sister and thinks that I don't understand until I say, "HEY! I can hear you!"). Although I try very hard to speak to her in mandarin when we get into arguments, our language barrier is one of the many reasons why we can't fully understand each other. The other major reason is because of the cultures that we were both raised up in. My mother's upbringing was traditional, and although she is now a U.S. citizen, she has not really assimilated to the American culture. This causes much misunderstanding between the two of us because it's hard to explain the way I have adopted some American practices.

We have seen before how motherhood in other cultures are different, but what about cultural differences between mothers and children? I'm glad I don't really have that problem yet, and it is something I seriously think about when I think about my possible future children. After reading about these working mothers I wonder if this is the anger that I will have to deal with - work vs. home - or if I will have to deal with cultural conflicts? And I'm sure there are so many other factors too. Mainly, from our readings I think that the inner-conflicts of these women can lead them to resent themselves. They question if the way they feel is wrong and it has a lot to do with what society expects of them. Their relationships with their husbands is also an additional factor.

Last night after I had finished all of my readings I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone about them and realized my biggest worry. I am not most afraid that I will be a raging bull and hate my children. I think every one of these women we read about except for one has ended up loving their children. My biggest fear is that I will end up with a horrible relationship with my possible future husband. Before this class, I was somehow under the impression that most women's marriages were strengthened after they had children. Yet, many of the readings in our class are the opposite. Maybe the marriage doesn't fall apart, but there is a lot of conflict and tension. I wonder if most working wives feel this way after they have had children, or if it is also common for working wives in general.