I originally wanted to start off this blog with my thoughts about how motherhood is portrayed in France vs. the US. But I would also like to comment first on some things that I read in previous posts. In Ateret's entry she talks about behavior of mothers and children in public. I have also seen some pretty verbally abusive mothers yelling at their very young children. It is never anything i feel comfortable witnessing, and I also wonder, what should someone do in that situation if things got completely out of hand? Where do people draw the line that tells us when complete strangers can correct the mother? Personally, even when mothers are verbally abusive to children I don't think about intervening. The way I see it is, "hey it's her child, and I don't know her side of the story". In my mind, I draw the line at the point where a mother gets very verbally abusive because at least you can say, "you're offending me and other people". But I could never imagine saying, "that is not the right way to discipline your child", because what do I know? Not even that, but I don't know what it's like to be a mother, and even as someone who has had jobs working with children, I can't say anything because I'm not a mother and that is not my child.

In Amanda's entry about moving to France, I completely agree. I wonder, what is it that makes the French role of parenthood and motherhood so different from the U.S.? And if it is so different, then what are the expectations for parents in other cultures? When I think about my own mother, I don't even know what expectations she was under. My mom's biggest pressure was a standard that she set for herself. She wanted most of all for my sister and I to receive the best education possible and to push us to become more independent women than herself. The culture that she came from took for granted that every mother would be a stay-at-home mom and do housework and cook. She was raised based on that belief since she was a child, but her dreams of being the perfect mother I believe came from the influence of American culture. I would like to know what the difference is for other mothers in other cultures.

After reading the text, I wonder, how much of the mother anxiety is self-inflincted? I am not trying to accuse anybody of creating a pity party, I am just very curious about the situation. I find it interesting that motherhood, something that is known everywhere, is also a culturally specific thing. I just become frustrated because a lot of the things that Warner talks about, and a lot of the standard mother ideals and pressure to be the perfect mother are so... well, almost unnecessary. I know mothers just want what is best for their children. Totally understood. But other things that cause incredible anxiety, such as the "I don't know how you're going to write a book when you have a birthday party to plan" or "I wish I had time to obsess on Hello Kitty"(27) things, I mean, there's no written rule to make you do something else! It's hard to say that because I know mothers have their responsibilities, of course, but I guess what I'm really trying to say is, why can't we be more like France, (can't believe I'm saying that), and what is really stopping us from getting to that point of mere mental freedom? I mean, you have your own life to live even if you have children. Even when my mother would offer to help me with schoolwork when I had trouble, or when she volunteered to sacrifice her time just to basically be on "standby" for me if I needed "anything, anything at all", I said no. I don' t want her sacrificing her sanity and health for me, never.