Fear of Crossing

Anger as the section title “Mommy Maddest” implies, really comes out full force in these last three essays, especially in Crossing the Line in the Sand. The mother’s anger was the most understandable, but at the same was the most difficult to understand. This woman’s method of dealing with anger was telling the one she was angry at, “I’m allowed to be angry because___.” This seems more of a justification for her actions not only to herself, but also to (in this case) her children.
In part it was the circumstances that were too overwhelming, causing the mother to snap. Her husband is usually a barrier, the one that takes ‘the chair before it folds.’ The children were rambunctious as their routine was off from the night’s entertainment. In truth I find it hard to be critical of the mother at this point, but the routine seems to not be for the kids, but more so for the mother to be able to say this is when I am done. However, I become the most critical/surprised of the mother when she goes after her children, especially the child’s neck. At first I thought that she would just scream, making a bigger deal of the thrown book than it actually was. She did this and more, crossing the line of anger management.
Luckily her child’s pleading reached her and she was able to calm down. The guilt that she feels afterwards, I imagine is only natural. I’m glad she understands that she crossed a line and had the ability to draw another one. At the same time I’m bothered by a couple of ideas. First of all I can’t tell if the mother really went after her child’s neck or if that passion was a literary technique. This leads itself to my next point. Reading the mother’s frustration as an outsider I would like to think that I would have acted differently. I would have screamed, but would at least have the capability of walking out of the room until I was calmer. However, I realize that the boy needs consequences for his actions as his amusement at the mother’s distress was the most frustrating. I don’t know how to take the child’s amusement. The child’s lack of communication through words and ability to translate more so through action seems understandable at the age of three. It’s not as if the child intentionally threw the book at the mother’s face. But within this justification I feel as if I am falsely accusing the mother without having experienced the situation myself. I think there is a level of understanding that can only come from experiencing the trials of parenthood. In itself this is the most frightening aspect. In reading accounts like this I feel like I am able to say I will not act like this mother. But what if the situation is truly as overwhelming as the mother describes? What line will I cross and will I truly be thankful that I can redraw that line?