Savage Thoughts

Reading Dan Savage's book has reminded me that I am something of a prude. I'm not really interested in swearing, or in reading about sex (gay or straight) or about the time his butt was bleeding. Then I read some of Savage Love online and was like, yes, I am a prude, and intend to stay that way. So I stopped reading Savage Love.

Anyway, for the first few chapters I wondered whether or not this book would have been published if Savage had not already gotten a contract to write it. The first few chapters were very haphazard. There's a chapter of societal commentary, a chapter written to his kid, a chapter about starting the adoption process, how he met his boyfriend and the sex or lack thereof going on at the time. I think I prefer books where the author is less apparent. In A Life's Work, Cusk showed up too much just by being too "writerly." I preferred Rachel in the World because Bernstein told a story with the focus being on the story. Savage talked a little too much about the writing of the story.

I liked the second half of the book a lot more (so pretend I'm posting this on Wednesday). Once Melissa was introduced, it seemed like there was a new and more engaging focus. She was interesting by virtue of being a gutter-punk - I guess Pittsburgh doesn't have any of these - so I didn't realize that this demographic existed - and because of the role she played - how reliable would she be, would she see the adoption through, what would she think of Dan and Terry? I think she also helped shift Savage's focus from himself onto someone else, and I liked that.

And just something I was wondering - Savage apparently watches porn a lot, and I mean a lot. So what would the reaction be to a straight father talking about all the porn he's watching? I guess there are couples where that might be the norm, but I don't think that's healthy. I tend to think of porn as extremely demeaning to the women in it and to the men watching it (and that the men in it are assholes). Not everybody feels this way. But I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about gay porn. Is it demeaning to the performers/viewers? Is it damaging to a relationship in the same way? I feel like Savage is making a point to address issues about homosexuality in general, and I have absolutely no perspective on how well he represents others.