bad or good mother?

So far I have really enjoyed Rachel in the World. Somehow, by the help of Bernstein's writing style, I feel as if I'm emerged into her thoughts. As a result, I find myself worrying along with her. There seem to be so many things that what we take as daily, mundane activities, are challenges for Rachel. I don't know if she really is as overprotective as many people have told her she is, but when she says that she is a bad mother, I really have to disagree with her. When I work with children I am constantly amazed by the women around me that seem to always know the right thing to say to a child when they need guidance or correction. And although I feel nervous, lost and insecure, when I look for advice and openly confess my insecurities, these women support me. Maybe they're just being nice, but I don't think I am as bad as I think I am. I think that maybe I'm just too self-conscious, always thinking about doing and saying the right thing and worrying that I am NOT doing the right thing at all. I don't know if that's how Jane Bernstein feels, but as the reader I know that Jane Bernstein is NOT a bad mother. I believe it was in Rachel Cusk's A Life's Work that we read that to be a good mother is simply just to be there for the baby. I still believe that's true, even if a woman is faced with the challenges of caring for her retarded child. I don't think there is such as a thing as being the perfect mother just as there's no such thing for being the perfect person. But I think that Bernstein's feelings and actions alone show how good of a mother she is. I wonder if most women in her position think that they are not good mothers because they aren't able to fully understand or help their daughters? And if that's not the case, then why would they feel that hey are bad mothers?

It is definitely tougher to take care of a retarded child, but Bernstein is more than just there for Rachel. The part that I admire most about her, in fact, is that she has very strong hopes and dreams for Rachel. Along with her constant battles for the rights of people with disabilities, Bernstein is able to have hopes for Rachel, which could almost be mistaken for luxury by others. I think what's important, (and something I didn't necessarily think about before this), is that having these hopes and dreams is a right everyone is entitled to. Bernstein talks more about this, and I think I would never have really understood what she meant if it had not been for her constant hopes for Rachel. Most parents, like mine, leave the hoping up to me and then support my efforts in reaching it. But Bernstein, with the realization that Rachel may not be able to hope or at least voice those hopes, feels that it's her responsibility to achieve them. When she finally finds the Kishorit community, I find myself being extremely relieved that Rachel can finally live away from her mother and that Bernstein can also finally live away from her daughter. All of Bernstein's nagging thoughts about Rachel have shown me a little bit of the burden that she had to carry. She leads a life that seems to have almost no rest and little freedom, yet she claims to be a bad mother. I can't wait to finish the book and for now I am glad that both women have gained their independence. I hope though, that my opinion remains the same that Bernstein is a great mother and that she's already fulfilled the basic requirement of simply being there for Rachel.