I am ploughing my way through the dark side of motherhood with Rachel Cusk's A Life's Work and as I reach the midway point I vow never to have children, ever. Her view of giving birth is death of the mother's old self in a way that she will never be retrieved. Plus her struggles through feedings and collic don't sound much like a piece of cake either. But on the other hand the allure of this incredibly life changeing experience feels like something that everyone has a right to explore. Even if I never give birth physically I hope that I would still be able to build a relationship similar to that of a mother and daughter.
As I was reading I tried to ask myself the question of who she was writing for and who in the world would be interested in reading this expereince? Even in her own introduction she mentions that those who have not had children may find her writing inaccessable or at least boring, not being able to find anything personally relevant in her work. I have read it from the perspective of both a daughter and as someone who may have to go through something similar in the future and I found it both interesting and horrifying. But, I can easily see how someone who knows that they will never phsycially go through birth would find the stories redundant and flat or at the very least irrelavant. Her main audience I see as other mothers and I think that anyone who went through something similar to her experience would find this book invaluable to know that they are not alone in inperfect motherhood.
The other question that keeps popping up for me is at what age will her daughter read this book and understand how much suffering she inflicted unknowingly on her mother and what the revalation will do for her and for her relationship with her mother. While I'm sure she would see the intense love that Cusk wants to deposit on her new baby Cusk also speaks harshly of this creature that uses up so many of her resources and kills her non-mother self. It would be interesting to hear a response from the baby who is the reason this book was written.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Megan: You raise, but do not fully answer, the question Cusk raises, which, is, what can we gain from this text if we have not already experienced motherhood for ourselves? I am keen to see how others in the class grapple with this. Reading this book again, and, now, for a class, I see Cusk's intellectual project more clearly. Is her audience, really and truly, only those who have already become mothers, and those who aspire to become them? What clues does she leave that she might, in fact, wish to address a wider audience?
What I hate about Rachel Cusk's documentary account of pregnancy and parenthood is the fact that so many readers will take her admonishments so literally. Birth and pregnancy are unique experiences for every woman. People love to trade horror stories. I was determined not to even "hear" anything negative while pregnant but it was very short lived.
I was held prisoner in my office one day while a co-worker explicitly recounted her C-section when the anesthesia did not take. My doctor eased my concerns by stating that my birth would not be like anyone elses. The pain of birth has been perpetuated for so many generations that even young girls live in fear of the adult pain they face. This is something Rachel Cusk reveals early on in her essay. This discovery was highlighted by a book from the turn of the century by Stanley Dick Read entitlted "Childbirth Without Fear." He had only delivered babies to women in extreme fear and pain until he happened upon a woman in a tar paper shack who eased her fourth child out with incredible aplomb. Her reason was relaxation and no fear. Thus, Dr. Read began his intense research into this mysterious field. A French doctor named Lamaze discovered his research collaborated with him but Dr. Read died before their "method" was made public. The rest is history. I, however, did not take Lamaze classes. I just read Dr. Read's original book. It was all I needed. I was very relaxed. Not afraid. Found labor a piece of cake and delivered in five hours. Not bad for a first pregnancy of an older, high risk mom. Thus, I tell my "positive" story to as many women as I can.
Post a Comment