There should be a "Babies for Dummies" book

From reading A Life's Work, I have an impression that there are many books out there on being the perfect mother, or something along those lines. I think it's great that people can feel more comfortable and confident about having a baby, but can't help thinking that there is also a negative side to it. There seem to be so many things that mothers have to do and remember to do when caring for a baby. It's like the book always tells you what you should and shouldn't do, and what is right or wrong. Also, books can suggest what practices can help jump start your baby's future - like make him/her smarter, faster. Still, I'm sure many women feel like Rachel Cusk as first time mothers: nervous, anxious, and under pressure. I really feel bad for her, and I can't help feeling nervous for her at times, because what if she messes up? I think if it were me in that position, my mind would be overflowing with quotes from books telling me what I should do and how I should do it. I would be a mess!

This also makes me think of my own mother. I don't think my mom ever read any books on how to take care of children because all of her family helped her out along the way. Both my mother and father have a lot of older siblings who had already had children by the time she was pregnant with me. I don't know how she would feel about Cusk's book, and I plan on asking her how she did raise my sister and I, but I do know that her mother and relatives played a large part in helping her out. That makes me realize that I'll either have to rely solely on my parents or friends, if the time ever comes for me to have my own child. When I ask my mom how my sister and I were as infants and toddlers, she always says that we were usually well behaved and did not cry a lot - I'm sure my sister cried a lot though. The reason why I asked her was because I worked at a furniture store part time and only during summer and winter breaks, and I always had mothers coming in with strollers or little children that were guaranteed to run around and break things and then cry. Even when we warned parents to watch their children around the large mirrors (better yet, don't bring them in!), parents would ignore us and let their children get hurt. Maybe it was the kind of customers that we usually brought in since we had pricey furniture in a more high-end mall. All of my coworkers that worked full-time and had children of their own really had little sympathy for these parents. They would say, "Why can't she control that child? My children don't run around like this is a godamn carnival", or "if my child acted like that I'd give him a beating". I don't think they ever beat their children, but I wonder, are these the mothers that hire babysitters for most of the day? Are these the mothers that buy books and try to follow them? Because if the books tell you to let your child run around like a hyena and break everything it touches, then what are books for? I think what I'm getting at, in a sort of off-topic way, is are books always the best resources? We know that books aren't the answer to everything, but maybe our author Rachel Cusk was relying too much on them.

Additionally I just wanted to add that I watched Baby Mama recently. Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing, but I did it, and at least I can say that I didn't pay for it. Plus I really like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. Atlhough this film was a comedy, it really puzzled me in the way that motherhood was portrayed. I don't want to spoil it for those that haven't watched the film, but it really glorifies motherhood to be something that I'm sure most mothers don't experience. I know there are women out there that would do almost anything to have a child. Others feel that they were born to have a child. But when I think about it, most films don't really represent women taking care of their babies through the many tough stages of infancy. In most films, that stage is skipped and you always see a happy mother holding a baby that looks like what Cusk describes as "babies, clean as pins, wrapped in crisp white towelling as if the stork had just brought them in" (115). It surprises me that there aren't more images and films of mothers going through these painful stages of raising their children. I mean, I guess no one wants to see and hear a baby cry for hours on end, but it just seems like oh, babies are such magical things, and it's all easy and fun. The only times that I hear about the hardships of motherhood are when they try to scare us in sex ed, trying to traumatize our teenage minds. I guess that is also why I'm glad that there are stories like the ones that we have read so far and why Rachel Cusk's story is something we can learn from.