Is Love Enough?

I feel like we have heard it all before, the typical clichés like: “Love is all you need” or “Love can conquer anything.” For me, it is undeniable that Bernstein loves Rachel. However, when it comes to a special needs child, more specifically the special needs child who is all grown-up, is love really all you need? Can the love Bernstein (or any parent with a special needs child for that matter) has conquer anything?
After completing Rachel in the World for the second time now, it seems to me that no matter how much love Bernstein has for Rachel, (which I believe is a tremendous amount) love is just not enough. If there was no funding, no programs like the JCC, no help from strangers or social workers, no behavior management, no life-sharing, no kibbutz in Kishorit, or no CLA, Bernstein would not have been able to hold on like she did. Would anyone in that position be able to really? I don’t think so.
Bernstein admits and gratifies the help she receives throughout the memoir to care for Rachel. The explanation of programs and people that helped Rachel are described in detail and praised because if it was not for their help Rachel and Bernstein would not
have reached that ‘perfect’ place by the end. For example, Bernstein remarks thankfully, “Katie had obtained Rachel’s funding for summer camp; Janet, another supports coordinator, had gotten Rachel into Title XIX before I fully understood how limited the slots were...” (195). Later in discussing the help Wendy provided, she exclaims, “That’s the kind of person you need on your side. My hard work wouldn’t have amounted to a thing if Wendy hadn’t come along, hadn’t thought over my dead body” (249). It is people and programs like the ones mentioned throughout the memoir combined with love that make a ‘perfect’ place obtainable (and keep both parent and child sane). My own handicapped brother has benefited from the kindness of other people and programs as well. It is a continual process to find funds and programs to accommodate him as he grows.
Bernstein herself seems to acknowledge both to herself and her readers that love is not enough in the case of Rachel. She understood that “…it was impossible to plan Rachel’s future by myself” (195). She also admits how she was “...dependent on luck and on the goodwill of strangers...” (261). Although I feel as though Bernstein is a remarkable person and a good mother, it becomes obvious in the case of a special needs child that love alone simply won’t cut it. I can sympathize with Bernstein when I look at my own mother in this situation. I think she would also admit that no matter how much she loves my brother, the outside help is necessary to get by.
I realize this seems exceptionally negative to argue that love is not enough. But through Rachel’s story and personal experience I have realized that there is a tremendous difference between living and taking care of someone who is mentally retarded in comparison to being in the outsider position that allows you to “croon about the ‘adorable little crippled girl.’”(63).