Independence

While reading Rachel in the World, I come to find that I really appreciate Bernstein’s approach and honesty in her writing because it is crucial to the validity and clarity of Rachel’s story and life. Although this is Rachel’s story for which Bernstein is the mouthpiece, I often find myself considering both of them with respect to independence, and how it puzzles me greatly when I try to decide who needs it more and what would happen if either of them would get it?
I think that the question of Rachel’s independence is all about context. In what context would she actually be liberated, if any? It can be argued, that Rachel is not independent if she is living at home, with her mother who regulates her teenage daughter’s day. It is evident however, throughout the book that her age is merely a number. Simply a marker of how long her mother has been helping her, how long she’s been going to different medical specialists, etc. If Rachel attains independence, would she really even know it? She can’t be independent in the same sense that you and I are independent, because she can’t understand the context of her life, or life as we know it. Going out with friends, dating, shopping, managing her own time the way she would see fit--all of these independent and social undertakings would mean nothing to Rachel. Further more they are not on her radar because she lacks the capability to understand and process these norms, let alone embrace or long for them. The things that we associate with independence don’t apply to a person like Rachel, because they can’t.
In chapter four, Bernstein mentions that she squirms when people tell her that Rachel is lucky to have her as parent. She feels that Rachel would be lucky to have a parent completely devoted to her. This makes me consider that Bernstein’s desire for independence could be because she wants to get away from the guilt of not feeling that she is doing an adequate job of raising Rachel. Also, because she realizes that Rachel can never truly experience independence and realizes that not everyone has the patience or he even the sense of obligation (as harsh as that may sound) to deal with Rachel.
It is inevitable for just one of them to attain independence, and I think that even with “independence,” neither of them would really be happy in the long run. Bernstein could not be happy in the long run because I am sure that she would be worried and missing Rachel, just like when Rachel flies to Florida. Rachel might not be unhappy; however her life would take turn in a completely new direction, which would probably end up unpleasantly.
What would other people think of Bernstein if she gave up after all this time? Anyway we look at it, it’s a lose-lose situation. Despite Bernstein’s (completely legitimate) desire for an independent or even a “normal” life, I don’t think she views it as a lose-lose situation, and I don’t think Rachel is even aware that there is a choice, or a norm. So although reality for the both of them consists of unavoidable and even at times unfortunate controversies, it seems that they could never shed their dependant and systematic shells.